hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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