Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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