i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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