hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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