I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
