Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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