Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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