so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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