We're facebook friends in real life
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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