The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
