I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
