I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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