i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I need a beard to bite.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
