I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize