are you still at the devil's house?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
