She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
