is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
