My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does it feel to date your dad?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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