The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
