You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
