Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
and you fell through a lawn chair
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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