i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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