My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
There r osticjed everywhere
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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