all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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