Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
