I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
