Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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