Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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