Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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