I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Sorry my hands just texted you
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
