dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
