Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
