Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat