Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??