your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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