On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.