i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
