Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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