I skipped work to stalk him.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
