Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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