Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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