I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
