Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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