My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize