Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
