This is not my ceiling
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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