idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
where are you?
Hypothermia
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Someone came in the potted fern
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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