It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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