3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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