The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
