how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
