He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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