just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
