New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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