Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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