Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
