Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
