so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize