OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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