hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize