I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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